Worst of the Year 2021

 So for every yin there is yang.  I gave you a best of 2021.  Now you get a worst of 2021.  Hey, I don't like reliving this either.  But I do it for you.  For your reading pleasure, I give you bad to dreadful counting down from 10 (ugh) to 1 (threw up in my mouth repeatedly).  As with the Best of list, I'll give you my overall base reaction.  Formal reviews can be found in the sister blog, sithlordreviews.blogspot.com.   

10.  The King's Man- What happened to this franchise?  The first Kingsman was soooooo good.  It was exciting.  It was action packed.  It was amusing.  The second tried to take everything good from the first and amplify it to 50.  It felt silly and not in a good way.  But I couldn't say it was boring.  This third, prequel chapter was just that.  Flat out dull as dishwater.  Director Matthew Vaughn has not been able to recapture the magic of the first.  This wasn't horrible, but I did find it extremely disappointing.

9.  Thunder Force- Like #10, this wasn't so terrible as it was disappointing.  I like Melissa McCarthy.  She can be good with the right material.  Octavia Spencer is usually a reliable actress.  I like superhero movies.  I like comedy.  So, tell me why Thunder Force was so blah?  I can think of one.  I said it in my review.  McCarthy's husband, Ben Falcone, has directed a lot of her recent work.  He should stop directing his wife.  Every character McCarthy seems to play in his movies is a poor heart-of-gold schlub who uses clumsy pratfalls to get laughs.  Now she's good at it, but I'm tired of it already.  I've seen what she's capable of and it's so much more than this.  On top of everything, the film was just uninspired and corny.

8.  Halloween Kills- This just makes me sad.  Michael Myers is my favorite movie slasher of all time.  So far, we're two chapters into this new trilogy that is supposed to blitz every previous sequel to the 1978 classic.  Color me unimpressed.  Halloween, like all horror franchises, has had its share of dogs.  This and its 2019 predecessor aren't dogs.  They're just...lackluster.  With characters so blindingly dumb, I honestly wanted Michael to annihilate the whole town of Haddonfield, IL.  What this trilogy should have been if written correctly is a deadly cat-and-mouse game between Michael and Laurie Strode.  But there's too much other minutiae that gets in the way.

7.  The Conjuring:  The Devil Made Me Do It- This film was the case of a franchise that's starting to run out of steam.  The core piece of the Conjuring Universe has always revolved around the real-life supernatural cases of Ed and Lorraine Warren.  The core Conjuring series is currently at number three.  And for this third installment, the powers that be couldn't have chosen one of the Warrens' most boring cases if they tried.  This wasn't scary.  It was barely creepy.  And it was a chore to sit through.

6.  Spiral:  From the Book of Saw- I might be one of the few who appreciated the Saw franchise through all its first seven chapters.  Then came 2017's Jigsaw which felt like the square peg trying to fit into the franchise's round hole.  Then there is this.  Spiral goes through the motions of a Saw movie but feels hollow on the inside.  It knows the moves but lacks the heart.  All that said, this might have been an adequate movie if not for one thing.  Chris Rock cannot do drama.  You can't take your eyes off him for all the wrong reasons.  The range of his dramatic skills consists of the perpetual scowl he mean mugged everyone with in the film.

5.  The Night House- You know 2021 was not a good year for horror.  Malignant was a standout.  Outside of that?  Extreme mediocrity if I'm kind.  This psychological horror thriller is the fourth film from the genre on my list.  I honestly had to go back and read my review to recall what this was about it was so forgettable.  Not much more to say other than I get a headache writing this much about it.

4.  The Unholy- See number five.  Ditto squared.

3.  Infinite- Here's an extremely puzzling little number courtesy of Paramount +.  Had the star power.  Could have had an interesting premise.  One problem.  The motivation for the antagonists made no sense.  The film just told the audience "Accept this for for what it is."  But I couldn't and it took me right out the movie.  A story about immortals should have a bit more style and flair.

2.  Snake Eyes- Maybe it's wrong of me to have this on the list especially having it this high.  After all, I was watching a bad copy.  So bad that I had to stop watching about halfway through.  I didn't even do a formal review of this, so I could admittedly be unfairly critiquing this movie.  Then I think what I did see was so mediocre I never entertained going back to watch the movie in its entirety and I suddenly not only feel justified having this on the list, but also placing it as high as I did.  The last thing I'll say about this is if you were of fan of this character watching the 80s cartoon and/or reading the Marvel Comics G.I. Joe series, the bastardization of Snake Eyes will be intolerable to you.

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1.  The Power of the Dog- This movie just annoys me.  It has Oscar nominations in just about every major category imaginable.  Let me tell you this film is the most asinine, pretentious, nothing happening movie I have had the displeasure of sitting through in a long, long time.  This shouldn't have been.  Decent cast.  Benedict Cumberbatch's character COULD have been fascinating.  A lot of things could have happened if the narrative had a point!  This dreck gets the love from the Academy while Spider-Man:  No Way Home gets snubbed.  Well, the Academy is exactly what I said this movie is and that's why they love it.  Pretentious.

Honorable Mention

Okay.  I messed up.  I should have featured nine movies and I forgot about this one.   What do you know?  Another Netflix original.  Don't Look Up can be a polarizing film depending on your ideology.  It definitely doesn't paint the media, politicians, and the elites in a flattering light portraying the lot as vapid, greed-driven narcissists who take everyone else along for the ride.  It makes a bold statement on how profit overrules logic even in the face of global annihilation.  Don't Look Up is a darkly funny portrait of how our society is eroding and will continue a downward decline until we wake up to a few realities.   

#1 Spider-Man: No Way Home

Seriously, was there any doubt?  What else can you say about this one that hasn't already been said.  And even though the Academy didn't have the testicular fortitude to recognize it for saving part of their industry, the movie fandom knows how important this film was.  There's so much happening here.  It's an ending and beginning for the character.  It opens some wild new doors for the MCU.  Most of all, it gave us the tasty treat of seeing all three big screen Spider-Men in the same space.  Fan service galore.  But fan service done the right way.  And the box office is proving it.

#2 Zack Snyder's Justice League

 

This is a film that was a shocker for me on a couple of levels.  

1.  I sat through a four hour movie (twice) and never felt bored.

2.  I began to have a better understanding of Snyder's vision for the DCEU

3.  I wanted to see more of his vision.

Knock me over with a feather that I feel strongly for a guy that produced the less-than-stellar BvS, but there it is.  Warner Brothers should have had their faith in this instead of what they gave us in 2017. 

#3 Free Guy

 

This film was far better than it had any right to be.  In all honesty, I wasn't expecting much when I sat down with this one.  But, oh was I pleasantly surprised.  A totally bonkers concept featuring an NPC as the main protagonist, Free Guy has no shortage of laughs while also being amazingly heartfelt.  This movie could have gone off the rails in so many ways at so many times.  It's a comedy, action movie, and romance all at the same time.  And you won't be disappointed by any aspect of it.  

#4 The Harder They Fall

 

Since Netflix began its run of producing original content, the results have been mixed.  They've given us a lot of dogs.  With fleas.  This is not one of them.  This is a western that gives you everything.  Vengeance, intrigue, brutality, a chillingly cruel villain, guns a-blazing.  As someone who isn't normally big on westerns, this one has the goods.

#5 Copshop

 

As I said in my review, Copshop is just a film of pure no frills entertainment.  Does it always make a lot of sense?  No.  Do you necessarily care?  Also no.  At its core, Copshop is a tight cat-and-mouse thriller between a crooked informant and an assassin contracted to take him out with a small Nevada police department caught in between.  As I also said in my review, this is a predator-prey game that pays off in the end unlike some (No Country for Old Men are you listening).

#6 Nobody

 

Tell me if you ever thought these four words would come from your lips.

BOB ODENKIRK, ACTION STAR

Yes, that Bob Odenkirk.  The sleazy lawyer of Breaking Bad/Better Call Saul fame.  The comedian.  Not only does he do action here, but he credibly does it.  This story of a boring everyman with a dangerous past has some John Wick-ish elements.  It gives a good dose of the ultraviolence while remaining slick, cool, and fun.

#7 Malignant

 

By far the best horror movie I saw in 2021.  Creepy, violent, jawdropping.  Malignant may not scare the pants off you, but it will make you wince repeatedly.  James Wan takes you on a journey of the macabre walking through one grisly death after the other until the big reveal.  It's a doozy.  The name of the movie is very appropriate.  When you get that reveal in the police holding tank, what follows after is the stuff of nightmare fuel.

#8 Wrath of Man

 

Now this is a solid Jason Statham actioner that got little recognition.  A somber Guy Ritchie tale, Wrath of Man adds a little mystery that slowly unfolds during the film's runtime.  It's a tale of revenge that has no classic heroes, just worse villains.  There's a little more storytelling involved than in a typical Statham movie.  He plays the role of stoic badass that he plays so well.  But the narrative is more complex than what you usually find in one of his features.  Wrath of Man is an underrated action film many missed out on.  You should check it out if you have the time.

Best of the Year- New Format (For Now)

Hello all,

Long time no see.  Since 2017 it appears.  I could go into a lot of reasons why I haven't done something like this in years, but I'll boil it down to one thing.  Time.  Most of you who know me, know that I have a life outside of blogging and that tends to get in the way.  I try to watch as much as I can, but it's impossible for me to see everything.  It takes a long time to see what I do.  And let's be very honest.  I don't want to see everything.  When I tried, I drove myself crazy.  I began to sour on the movie watching experience a bit.  So, I came to the decision "I've gotta be me."  I make the decisions of what I consume and don't consume.  I focus less on what's "important" to see.  After all, I'm not the Academy and I just don't have the time and energy.  

So, all that said, I'm changing the format of the Golden Lightsaber Awards to a "Best of" feature at year end.  Will the old format return?  Who knows?  Maybe one day.  But this works best for me for the time being.  The previous way took a long time to write up and a fair amount of brain racking to get through.  This will hopefully be easier.  I'm not necessarily going to go with a strict number format.  I'm recognizing movies I believe warrant special consideration however many that may be.

So sit back and enjoy.  Agree or disagree.  Respectful comments are always welcome.