Worst of the Year 2022

 The Yin to the previous Yang.  I won't spend too much time with explanations.  It hurts to relive these experiences.  If you want the full reviews, go to my other blog "Reviews From the Dark Side" at sithlordreviews.blogspot.com

10.  Minions:  The Rise of Gru

I hesitate to add this one to this list because it wasn't really bad. It's just that enough is enough.  Turns out the Minions have a shelf life.  At least for me.  They're less funny with each outing.  It's not cute any longer.  They are the Madagascar Penguins.  This one felt like a cash grab.

9.  Thor:  Love and Thunder

Well, it was better than Ragnarok.  That's admittedly an extremely low bar.  Taika Waititi was and is not the right captain of this ship.  On another franchise, I might appreciate his quirky comedic style.  I know Chris Hemsworth loves this interpretation of Thor.  This is not my God of Thunder and never will be.  Miss me completely with this silly nonsense.  Big "L" for the MCU

8.  Nope

What happened to Jordan Peele?  After a masterful debut in 2017 with Get Out, he followed that up in 2019 with the creepy thriller, Us.  Us had me riveted until the last 10-15 minutes which, unfortunately, took me out of the entire film.  Nope never had me from the start.  Some circular alien thing just hovers in the air and sucks things up to eat them.  No rhyme or reason.  No explanation of what it is or why it's here on Earth in the first place.  Just a nameless antagonist that all the little action there is revolves around.  Peele, even from Get Out, has been very abstract at times with the messages he wants to convey.  I have no clue what he was trying to say with this.  He got too cute.

7.  The 355

This action film featuring five female spies trying to prevent World War III is about as bland as bland can be.  Nothing pops.  It's not awful.  It's not interesting.  It's a bowl of plain mushy oatmeal.

6.  Everything Everywhere All at Once

I know I'm going to get some flack for this.  This was a sleeper hit.  I know a lot of people liked it.  It's an Oscar nominee.  I said in my initial review that between the dimension hopping, body possessions, and continual bombardment of the senses, if you can figure out what's going on, you're better than me.  Parts of this are humorous.  But it's not funny enough to push this into watchable territory.  And the movie is just so wonky, it's grueling to watch.  I felt it was a longer movie than it actually was.  

5.  Christmas Bloody Christmas

Yes.  I know.  Violent Night is on my Best of list.  I love subversive Christmas movies, particularly Christmas horror.  So what was the problem here?  The film is nothing but a Santa-bot that goes on a bloody killing spree.  It's a low budget movie so I wasn't expecting much.  But at least be fun.  Be over-the-top bonkers.  The film tried but it just didn't hit for me.  I think this suffered from a lack of a charismatic villain/killer.

4.  Firestarter

I didn't realize how cheesy the 1984 film adaptation starring Drew Barrymore was until recently.  It didn't age well.  This lifeless 2022 remake won't age at all.  It's that forgettable.  How is it that special effects from 1984 look better than effects in 2022.  That's a feat.  The plot is nonsensical.  This is just a joke of a movie in all aspects.  It's as mediocre as mediocre can be.

3.  Jeepers Creepers Reborn

Now we delve into the realm of the truly horrible.  I was never a huge fan of this franchise to begin with.  But it at least had a somewhat interesting monster in the Creeper.  Well this reboot is the anti-Scream.  Why did they even bother?  And I read somewhere two more might be coming to complete a trilogy?  I described in my review this is a toddler's take on horror.  Completely uncreative and takes tremendous leaps in logic.  This was a mess.

2.  Texas Chainsaw Massacre

This Netflix original toyed with my emotions.  I'm not even sure what this ill-conceived garbage was trying to achieve.  This isn't the Leatherface I know and love.  As a direct sequel to the original Tobe Hooper classic, you bring back the lone survivor from that film who is age appropriate.  But her tormentor.  The lumbering chainsaw-wielding giant that is Leatherface is clearly not as old as the survivor in the modern day.  That's just one of several problems.  There's a group of obnoxious victims that I'm all too happy got slaughtered.  There's truly only one good scene in the entire movie and it's literally the final one.  What a disappointment.

1.  Halloween Ends

Talk about toying with my emotions.  Ugh.  What happened here?  Granted this direct-sequel-to-the-original trilogy has been nothing spectacular through the first two chapters, but how do you make a Halloween movie with Michael Myers just being a bit character?  He honestly doesn't show up until around the midway point.  The film attempts to misdirect introducing another would be killer who was supposed to replace Michael and then didn't.  Then Michael is in a weakened state because he's not killing for some reason I guess.  What was this?!!  What did they do to my all-time favorite movie slasher?  And to use a street phrase, he goes out like a punk!  This was absolute trash.  Read the room.  The fans wanted the final showdown between Michael and Laurie Strode.  The ending of the 2018 film should have been where this trilogy ended.  Halloween Kills was lackluster.  Ends is unforgivable.  This hurt my soul.  

Best of the Year 2022

 Well, hello again beautiful people.  It's that time again.  The time Reviews From the Dark Side counts down the best of the year.  And 2022 was a pretty good year.  I will again add the caveat to this list you are about to read.  I haven't seen everything from 2022.  I'll admit right off the bat I haven't seen Avatar:  The Way of Water.  And until it streams, I won't.  So, you can judge the validity of this list in your own mind.  What I have seen is over 60 films in 2022 and I think that's a decent amount of cinema considering I'm far from a full-time critic.  So, without further ado, sit back and enjoy.  Or jeer.  Whatever your pleasure.  Full reviews are found on my other blog, sithlordreviews.blogspot.com.  

Honorable Mention:  Pearl/X

I'll start off in a nonstandard way.  Pearl and X are the first two chapters in a horror trilogy by director Ti West.  It's unusual to see 2/3 of a trilogy in one year.  It's even more unusual that both are worth a view.  X is a solid enough Texas Chainsaw-like slasher film set in the 70s.  However, the true gem is Pearl, the prequel set in the WWI era.  There was more classic gore in X.  However, Pearl, in my opinion, was the more psychologically disturbing of the two.  The final scene of Pearl will chill you to the bone and was brought home perfectly by Mia Goth.  The strained smile on Pearl's face is wrought with absurdity, pain, and the idea that the character had completely and thoroughly cracked mentally.  Unlike 2021, 2022 was a very good year for horror.

10.  Scream

Continuing with the horror theme is the fifth installment of the slasher franchise brought to life by the late Wes Craven.   The film serves as a sequel to Scream 4 while at the same time rebooting the series.  You don't often see a franchise reinvent itself this successfully.  Back are the trio of survivors of the previous films plus a competent new cast whose survivors will be the main focus of the series going forward.  Come on.  I didn't let the cat out of the bag.  You knew there was a sixth movie coming in 2023 didn't you?  Well, if you didn't, the legend of Ghost Face is alive and well and will continue to wreak havoc for at least one more installment.  Admittedly, I didn't give this film the full credit it was due the first time I watched it.  But, upon a second watch, I fully appreciated its reinvention and its parodying of itself in a different manner.  

9.  The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent

It's been a minute since Nicholas Cage starred in a higher budget film that had a normal theatrical run.  He's been well known in recent years for not seeing a script he didn't like which has resulted in a plethora of straight to video releases for the Oscar-winning actor over this time.  This comic outing not only allows Cage to deliver one of his usual chew-the-scenery performances, but also gives the opportunity for the actor to portray a version of himself.  Yes, he is actually Nic Cage in the movie who becomes embroiled in an FBI sting to take down a cartel kingpin.  But it's a little uncomfortable when the kingpin happens to be one of his biggest fans.  With a hilarious performance by Pedro Pascal as the kingpin, this was an underrated must-see comic gem.  If for no other reason, you have to see Cage's alter ego say his name in one of the most bombastic ways imaginable.  

8.  Violent Night

I love subversive Christmas movies.  I don't know if it's because I'm railing against how much of a pain I find the holiday is in general or if it's because it should be a happy time and I just want to watch the world burn.  But this story of the real Santa Claus protecting a wealthy snobbish family from mercenary thieves on Christmas Eve Die Hard-style is more than subversive.  It's comic gold.  With a copious amount of gore.  Sprinkle in  a little Home Alone-style hijinks and you have a film that's already a cult classic.  David Harbour was the perfect choice for a drunken world-weary Santa.

7.  The Batman

There are a few things about this film I'm still not crazy about after multiple viewings.  Number one, it's runtime is 15-20 minutes longer than it should have been in my opinion.  Jeffrey Wright is a fine actor, but I don't think his role as Jim Gordon was that meaty.  Then there's the man himself, Robert Pattinson, who I thought was a fine Batman.  But his angst-ridden emo Bruce Wayne I found a bit off-putting.  All that said, what Matt Reeves' edition to the Dark Knight movie mythos did was give us the first Batman detective story onscreen.  And I believe this is by far the best handling of what Batman represents to the criminal underworld.  Some primal, otherworldly demon lurking in the shadows they must be ever wary of encountering.  Reeves shot some incredible scenes of Batman using the darkness and becoming one with it.  Those scenes are exhilarating and truly nail the character.  For that alone, this makes a stop on my list.

6.  Orphan:  First Kill

Horror mavens know (or should know) the introduction of Esther from 2009's Orphan.  You know the big reveal of that film.  Well, knowing the reveal, you might wonder what this prequel 13 years later has to offer.  And as you watch it, it's a decent enough film through the first half but nothing truly spectacular.  Until it drops the bomb on you.  Yes, indeed.  A twist that in some ways trumps the twist of the first film.  It's truly an "Oh my" moment. This could have very easily been a run-of-the-mill outing cashing in on the first film's cult success.  But that is clearly not what you get out of it.  This movie was a pleasant surprise that I had no inkling would make this list when I first sat down with it.   

5.  Puss In Boots:  The Last Wish

Think the Shrek franchise is dead?  Think again!  The swashbuckling kitty returns in a comic and surprisingly deep romp finding himself in a personal crisis when he's down to the last of his nine lives.  This could have very easily been a cash grab banking on the popularity of the tentpole Shrek franchise.  But all involved, including the voice actors, put some effort and thought into this.  It's easily one of the best in the Shrek Universe.  In fact, I might say it's second to only the original Shrek itself.  Yes, it's that good.

4.  Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness

Much has been said about phase 4 of the vaunted Marvel Cinematic Universe.  Is there MCU fatigue?  Has Marvel lost its touch?  Should the MCU have ended with Endgame (which I think is absolutely silly)?  As staunch of an MCU fan as I am, even I have to admit phase 4 didn't exactly sing all the time.  However, the second installment of the good doctor's MCU franchise was one of the exceptions.  With horror legend Sam Raimi in the director's chair, Multiverse of Madness is the MCU's first "horror" movie.  There are scenes in this film that are shocking for a superhero outing.  New characters are introduced along with some possible foreshadowing that two major franchises might be around the corner.  I know fans had mixed reactions, but I loved this installment and believe it made a statement that the MCU is still alive and well.  

3.  Bullet Train

What happens when you put several killers on a speeding Tokyo train with varying agendas that somehow intertwine?  You get the utter chaos of Bullet Train, an action-packed comedy that is a little Tarantino-esqe stylistically although the director was not at the helm for this one.  You know what this movie was most of all for me?  Loads of fun.  I was riveted from beginning to end.  A lot of that had to do with the cast.  You could almost tell they were having a blast making this movie.

2.  The Menu

This is another one I had to re-evaluate after I saw it a second time.  Oh, I liked it a lot the first time.  However, seeing it again made me realize I didn't give this horror/thriller the credit it deserved.  This story of a disgruntled world-class masterchef exacting retribution on a pretentious, elite class he's grown to have disdain for is a horror movie short on gore.  In fact, you might even say it's a bit artsy.  There is death but half of it is implied.  It's darkly comic tone and bizarre ending make this a standout.  I said this in my review and still stand by it.  If you have seen the trailers, The Menu is what you think it is and not what you think it is.

Are you ready?

I SAID, ARE...YOU...READY?!

Sorry.  Had to get my Triple H on a little bit.

Drumroll please...

1.  Smile

I said 2022 was a good year for horror and there was nothing better than Smile.  In fact, there hasn't been a horror movie this good, this terrifying for years.  Not since Sinister for me at least. It's a demented tale of a demonic entity that feeds off trauma.  It comes to follow a psychiatrist with deep rooted issues of her own and plunges her into a rabbit hole of madness.  And the signature manifestation of this horrific journey is the film's namesake.  The demon torments its victim appearing as someone he/she knows with a terrifying Joker-like smile.  The film nails down the most effective aspect of the genre for me.  The best horror has a heaviness to it.  A palpable feeling of utter dread.  A feeling this story won't have a happy ending.  Smile is what a movie in this genre should aspire to be.  And it's my best picture of 2022.